The more I know the less I know!

This past weekend was a DOOZY! I mean...whew! and WHOA! and WOW! And it was all a little bit much. An emotional wipeout! But I can say that with all of that came some goodness, some clarity and some peace. Funny how that goes. Also exhausting because I had no time off. Full day of class Saturday AND Sunday! Massage class Saturday and aromatherapy Sunday. Saturday's massage class was a very challenging exercise about how pain and trauma, emotional or physical, shows up in your body. It's fascinating to be sure. But it was a tough tough class for me. I'm glad I did it and participated fully but I think it just about wiped me out!

While I was at class Sunday one of the other participants said, "I feel like the more I know the less I know!" Oh, yes, that resonates with me 100%. Does it ever amaze you how much you don't know and how much there is to learn? And on the flip side does it ever amaze you how much you already know? It's shocking to me sometimes. Like when you have the answer for something that you didn't know you knew. I have definitely felt this way about my massage school. There are so many facets to massage, bodywork, energy work, etc. that I either didn't know existed or didn't know the extent all these different things can help you. I feel like such an infant in my knowledge base on how we can heal ourselves and/or live a much younger and healthier life. There's SOOOOO much to learn! Then I get anxious and overexcited about learning and want to know it all now. Does this happen to you? Please tell me it does. Or is this what being obsessive is all about? Haha! I was really glad I went to this class because now I know that the Raindrop Technique, while being extremely amazing to receive is not something I would be inclined to give. It's just not for me. But at least now I know what it's all about and that I really enjoy it being done and also know that I have no desire to practice it. I will of course be incorporating some essential oils into my massage practice though. And for my own personal use of course.

I've had a pretty big shift over the past couple of weeks about working out and my body in general. I hold a lot of muscle and don't lose it too quickly. Yet I think I've kind of been living in fear of losing my muscle since you do lose muscle as you get older. That seemed to be my reason for lifting weights. Well, it eventually was working against me and I had no desire to lift weights. And my desire to work out kept dwindling. Finally about a week and a half ago I decided that enough was enough and I was just going to have to do what sounded good to me and felt good to my body regardless of if I thought I was going to lose my muscle. And then I started blading and dancing and I already feel so much better. We often forget to honor what our bodies and/or mind are telling us.

Then last week I went to get an AMAZING massage. This therapist taught me that I have a whole helluva lot left to learn in this field. It was amazing and inspiring. And he said to me something that made me stop and think. It was about doing weights. And he said to me that I didn't need anymore muscle. Now he didn't say it in a mean way as if I'm too big and muscly. He just said it matter-of-factually and it struck a nerve. And I had to question myself and my reasons for doing weights in the first place and then I realized that I don't need anymore muscle right now and I really don't need to fear the loss of muscle. Yes, I think it's important to be strong but I AM strong and I do have a LOT of muscle. And after thinking about this I basically breathed a sigh of relief. How crazy is that? It's like I needed "permission" to not lift weights.  And now I'm totally fine not lifting weights or even going to a gym right now. I'm thinking more skating and dancing are in the works for me. And I think I'll even bring back my Pilates practice that I love so much. And even some yoga again. I actually haven't been going to yoga because the best time for me is on Tuesday nights and I've been in massage class on Tuesday nights. So now I'll be able to go back to yoga on Tuesday nights. Yay!

There's so much to learn about myself, my body, my mind, and life in general. I feel like such an infant right now. Everything is new as far as all the bodywork stuff goes. But that's what life's about, right? Finding something that you really enjoy and just learning all you can until the next thing comes along that you want to learn about. Kind of fun, don't you think? Wow! I can't believe I only have two more classes and then this part of my massage school is over. I'll be taking more classes to get my certification but this part will be done. It's been quite a ride!